Losing More Votes Might Be Good For You

I recently joined my local Neighborhood Council, and we make all our decisions democratically. Someone proposes concrete action, we debate its merits, take a vote, and accept the majority's decision.

Unironically, it’s a lot like this.

Because we take so many votes, I'm on the losing side fairly frequently. To my surprise, this has been rather good for me, because it rewired my brain a bit.

My old response to losing a vote was frustration with the other side's failure to see the correct path.

Now my reaction is to wonder "what could I have said in debate to flip more people to my side?”, “if I’d invited certain folks to coffee last week, might they have become allies?”, and "who else in my community could I bring to the next meeting who might share my views?"

In other words: "how do I do democracy better?"

I never experienced this rewiring when my only voting was in governmental elections. I think the losses were too infrequent to get good at them.

But now, losing a vote sparks curiosity: “what can I learn from this defeat that will help us win next time?”